Mom was exceptionally giddy as we all climbed into her VW Bug and drove the thirty minutes down the mountain so Rose and I could go dress shopping. She was half singing, half talking to Mrs. Jordan, who was sitting in the front seat next to her. They were discussing the homecoming dance and reminiscing about what it was like in their day.
I snorted as I glanced out the window at the woods that surrounded us. What it must be like to be ignorant of what was brewing between the trees. To live my life as if there weren’t wolf shifters stealing my friends or breaking my heart.
I wondered how my life would be if I’d never met Liam. If I’d never fallen for him.
My heart squeezed at that thought. That wasn’t what I wanted. As much as I was hurting right now, I wouldn’t give up the memories we held together no matter how painful they were. He’d changed me.
Wholly and completely.
“Psst.”
I glanced over to see Rose studying me. She smiled and then sighed. “Thinking about Liam?” she asked as she leaned in closer to me.
I nodded and blew out my breath, causing the lock of hair that had fallen down onto my forehead to float up and then gently back down. “What else is there to think about?”
She nodded and a contemplative expression passed over her features. “I wonder what they are doing,” she said as she picked up her phone and studied the screen.
I shrugged. “Liam doesn’t tell me anything. You definitely know more than me.” Ever since she came out of the bathroom this morning, she had a certain glow around her. One that told me Grayson hadn’t shot her down. It seemed as if those two were closer than ever.
If I didn’t love and adore her as my best friend, I would have allowed myself to feel jealous.
How Grayson could be so relaxed with her while Liam was so distant with me angered me. I knew they both had issues, and perhaps, Liam felt more pressure to get things right than Grayson, but that didn’t mean he had to ignore me like he was.
It wasn’t fair, and I was becoming physically and mentally exhausted because of it.
Not wanting to spiral, I folded my arms across my chest and glanced out the window. I needed to protect my heart before I lost it completely to the confusing, brooding guy that held it.
Maybe going to homecoming with Christopher was exactly what I needed. Even though I was sure I wouldn’t feel the passion that I felt for Liam, I needed to see myself with someone else. To know that there was hope for me to move on if Liam did leave me for good.
I needed to know that I could survive without him.
“We’re here,” Mom sang out as she pulled into the back parking lot of Sweeny’s Dresses. Rose said this was the place to get anything formal in this town. I was grateful I had her. I wouldn’t have known where to even start.
“Yay,” I said sarcastically as I pulled on the door handle and stepped out of the car.
I waited for Mrs. Jordan, Mom, and Rose to join me. Then we walked side by side through the front door. The bell jingled, and a woman appeared as if that sound had summoned her.
“Good evening,” she said as she tucked her short white hair behind her ear and approached with her hand extended.
Mom and Mrs. Jordan shook her hand, and as I headed over to the racks of dresses hanging on the far wall, I overheard her introduce herself as Tammy Sweeny, the owner of the shop.
Mom gushed over the dresses as I grabbed a few off the rack, and Tammy said she would be right back with bottles of water and cookies for us to enjoy. I glanced over at Rose. She had a few dresses hanging over her arm, her eyes wide.
“This is amazing,” she mouthed.
I chuckled and nodded as I turned my attention back to the dresses.
After I picked out five to try on, I made my way over to the row of dressing rooms and picked the farthest one on the right. After the lock engaged, I slipped out of my t-shirt and jeans and into the first dress. It was navy-blue and knee-length. It wasn’t my favorite, but Mom insisted that I pick a navy one because that was the best color on me.
I studied my reflection as I stood in front of the mirror. It didn’t look amazing, but it didn’t look bad either. From all the cheer practice I’d been doing, my calves were more muscular. And maybe Mom was right, I had some nice boobs. At least this dress helped them look a lot better.
“Show us,” Mom called from the small couch outside where she and Mrs. Jordan were sitting.
I sighed and pulled open the dressing room door only to hear her cheer as I approached the small pedestal that was set up in the middle of the room. It was strange, standing there, having Mom and Mrs. Jordan scrutinize me.
Mom clapped her hands and proclaimed that this was the dress, but I shook my head and slipped back into the dressing room where I changed into a bright-pink one Rose had insisted that I try on. I snorted as I stared at my reflection. When I came back out, I shot Rose a look and she just laughed.
She was twirling in a baby-blue dress with a tulle skirt. She looked beautiful in it, and I told her if she didn’t pick it, I was going to hate her.
Rose chuckled as she slipped back into her dressing room, and I did the same. I changed out of the pink dress and into a deep-red, boat-necked, mermaid dress. I turned to hang the pink dress up, but when I flipped back around, my heart leapt into my throat.
I screamed but had enough sense to cover my mouth when I did it.
Liam was standing in my dressing room.
Like, right in the middle of where I had been standing moments ago.
My eyes were wide as I stared at him. My heart pounded in my chest as I took in his proximity to me. If he had shown up just moments ago, he would have caught me in my underwear.
When I finally got my bearings, I glared at him as I dropped my hand and straightened my dress.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice coming out all squeaky. Great, if Liam couldn’t tell from the pounding of my heart, the sound of my voice would tip him off. He affected me, and it frustrated me that I had no control over it.
I had no control over my feelings, and I had no way of keeping them private either.
Liam parted his lips to speak, but when his gaze roamed over my body, he stopped. It felt good, stopping Liam in his tracks. He was normally so levelheaded, so calm. The fact that my appearance had some sort of effect on that demeanor made me happy.
Good. He’d finally know what it felt like to be around him.
It took him a second to come back to earth, and when he did, he ran his hand through his hair and dropped his gaze. “I just needed to check on you,” he whispered.
I wanted to be angry at him. He was the one who’d pulled away from me. If he wasn’t so determined to live by and never deviate from his rules, we just might be able to be together. He could text me or call me to find out if I was okay.
Not show up in my dressing room.
“I’m fine,” I said as I turned to study myself in the mirror. Anything to take my gaze off of him and ignore the fact that he was inches away from me. It seemed like whenever we got close, our ability to keep our distance struggled.
And right now wasn’t any different.
He nodded and stepped back but didn’t move to leave. Not really sure how he got in here, I kept my gaze focused on my dress and adjusted it here and there.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered.
My stomach flipped as his words drifted over to me. He said them so quietly that I wasn’t sure if they were meant for me to hear. But regardless, I heard them and they caused a reaction inside that just angered me.
Who was he to say this? According to him, we couldn’t be anything. He walked away every time I let down my guard and allowed myself to fall for him.
Gathering up my courage, I picked up my skirt and moved to the door, where I paused and then unlatched the lock. Right before I pulled the door open to leave, I glanced back over my shoulder. Liam was standing in the corner with his hands shoved into his front pockets, his legs extended out in front of him, and his face dipped down like he was studying his shoes.
“Thanks,” I said and then slipped out of the dressing room, shutting the door behind me. I wasn’t certain how he got into the room, and I didn’t want to make it harder for him to get out.
I wasn’t that mean.
“Oh, wow. Cora,” Mom said, her voice coming out all breathy as she approached me. “You look so beautiful. So…grown up.” Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close.
I wanted to pull back. Me and affection didn’t always jive, but Mom seemed to need this, so I allowed her to hold onto me for a bit. After all, I was feeling raw and ragged after seeing Liam, and holding someone close who cared about me seemed like a good idea.
Right before either of us broke down, I pulled back and nodded at Mom. Her lashes were glistening with tears as she dabbed at her cheeks with the tips of her fingers.
“I’ll go get this off before we both turn into a blubbering mess.” I gave her a soft smile. My mom’s affection for me had a way of melting my hardened heart.
Mom nodded and then turned to take a drink of her water. I slipped back into the dressing room and shut the door. I closed my eyes for a moment as I prepared myself for what I was going to find.
When I opened them and glanced around, my heart sank like a rock in my chest. Just as I expected, Liam was gone. This was so typical of him. Run into my life when he needed something, and as soon as he got what he was looking for, he was gone once more.
I unzipped my dress and shimmied out of it. My anger grew with each article of clothing I put on. Once I was dressed, I flung open the dressing-room door and stalked out to the middle of the store. Mom and Mrs. Jordan were looking at some necklaces, and Rose was nowhere to be found.
I whipped my gaze around as I looked for her. “No Rose?” I asked.
Mom glanced up from a black pearl necklace she was holding. She shook her head and glanced over at Mrs. Jordan. “No. I don’t think she’s come out yet. She’s been in there quite a while.” Her gaze drifted over to the dressing room and I followed her.
My stomach tightened when I realized just what might be holding her up. If Liam had come to visit me, did that mean…?
I shook my head and forced out any thoughts of that’s not fair from my mind. Rose and Grayson were different. Grayson didn’t seem too concerned about what his relationship with a human might do to Rose. He seemed content to put her life at risk just to be with her.
Liam cared about me enough to walk away—whatever that meant. He saw what was at stake—positive or negative—and decided that our love wasn’t worth it.
Which I commended him for. After all, he’d looked at the risks and decided that us being together was too dangerous. He said he was looking out for me. But really, he was looking out for himself.
I hugged my dress closer to my body and turned away from Rose when I saw her emerge from the dressing room with a smile on her lips that was a little too wide. My assumption was right. Grayson had been in there with her.
Perfect—just perfect.
My life was in the crapper, and the one person who I could lean on, who knew what it felt like, was now ridiculously happy as she stood next to me.
It looked as if the only person who was going to break from this whole situation was me. Yet again, everyone was going to be able to move on with their lives, but I would be stuck in the past, hurting.
That was a crappy place to be.
Rose bumped me with her shoulder. “You okay?” she asked.
I nodded and fought the tears that clung to my lashes. There was no way I wanted to cry in front of her or Mom. The last thing I needed was for both of them to tell me that I was a great girl and that Liam was an idiot to walk away. I didn’t need that reassurance when I was fairly sure that they weren’t speaking the truth.
If I was so great, why was it so easy for Liam to leave me?
I sighed as I nodded at the black pearl necklace that Mom brought over to me and held up next to my dress. It looked great. Mom knew what she was doing, so I was going to trust her taste.
We paid and headed out to Mom’s car. Darkness had fallen over us and I found it oddly comforting. It matched my mood and soothed my soul in a way that sunshine never could.
We climbed into the car and drove back to Smoky Hills. When we got back into town, Mrs. Jordan declared that she was treating us all to dinner at the diner. Mom pulled into the parking lot, and before she turned the engine off, I opened my door and almost jumped from the car.
I felt suffocated, and being in a cramped space with happy people while I was breaking down was becoming unbearable. I wanted to run. For the first time, I wished I was a shifter. Then I could sprint hard and fast away from here. Away from the smiles and excitement that I couldn’t bring myself to feel.
I took a few deep breaths as I headed toward the edge of the diner. I collapsed in the shadows, leaning against the cool brick and tipping my face toward the sky. I wished I were stronger. I wished, somehow, I could will my happiness into existence. But right now, that didn’t seem possible.
“You okay?” Rose’s voice was timid.
I turned to see her approach. The tears that I’d been able to keep at bay were let loose, and once one slipped down my cheek, the rest followed. “No,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
Rose hesitated, and then a moment later, she moved to lean against the wall right next to me. She slipped her arm through mine and held onto my arm with her free hand. She took in a few deep breaths as we stood there.
Silence surrounded us, and all I could do was cry. I was happy that she had Grayson—I was—but that didn’t take away the fact that I didn’t have Liam. Where she had found happiness, I was still alone.
And no amount of pretending that it didn’t hurt was going to fix that.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
I sniffled as I wiped my cheeks with my fingers. “It’s not your fault.” I blew out my breath as my tears subsided. I was exhausted, and all I wanted to do was sleep.
She shook her head. “No, but I could be more sensitive.” She glanced up at me. “I know the pain you’re going through. And you’re my best friend. If you hurt, I hurt.”
I chuckled as I straightened. “Thanks, Rose. This whole situation would be a lot harder if you weren’t here.”
She furrowed her brow. “Are you sure? ’Cause I might see it differently. After all, I was the one to drag you into the woods. And I disappeared on you.” She shook her head. “I would argue that it’s been a lot harder because I have been here.”
I shrugged as I kept her arm linked with mine and started walking toward the front door of the diner. I was cried out, and now I was starving. “Well, regardless, I’m glad you’re here. Promise you won’t leave?”
She held up her free hand. “I promise.”
I smiled as I moved closer to her. Just before we pulled open the diner door, she stopped.
“I’m guessing Liam stopped by earlier.”
I paused and then nodded. I hoped that was her only question, because that was not a situation I wanted to relive right now. “He dropped by for a moment. Wanted to know if I was okay.” I rolled my eyes and sighed. I was okay with it—or at least, I was going to pretend that I was okay with it.
“Did he tell you?” She raised her eyebrows as if I was supposed to know what that meant.
I studied her for a moment and then shook my head.
“Brielle is missing.”
My stomach squeezed at her words. Yet again, someone related to the shifters was gone. When were people going to stay where they were supposed to? “She is?”
“Grayson and Liam came by just to make sure we were okay.” Her voice drifted off. “That’s probably why he said what he did.”
I knew I should feel grateful that Liam was looking out for me. But I was so angry with my situation that there was no room for gratitude. I just felt hatred toward him.
Not wanting to drag Rose down when she seemed so deliriously happy, I just nodded. “Thanks,” I lied as I moved to open the door.
Rose seemed completely distracted by her thoughts. She followed after me as we walked into the diner and slipped into the booth opposite each other. Mom was studying her menu, and Mrs. Jordan was hollering something at the waitress on staff.
I took this time to allow my nerves to relax. Being here at the diner, ordering dinner, felt normal.
Human.
And right now, that’s what I needed.
I was a human, not a shifter. And somehow, someway, I’d forgotten about that.
Not anymore.
If I was going to get over Liam, I needed to start now. I needed to push him to the furthest corner of my mind and bury him there.
If not, I was going to break.
And I was already so broken that I doubted I could be fixed.
Ever.